what else could you ever want

here am i,

trying to write again.

i think to myself,

what would i write?

what words must i twist or distort

or shape or arrange

to speak of the deepest of realities,

which is 

Thee.

i am no dante 

to wax poetic and 

to sing of that love which 

moves the sun and other stars.

i am no shakespeare

to write verses that will remain forever.

my words may never be an

illiad which will be forever etched

in the world's culture.

my words may only waft along the gentle 

breeze of the quiet spring

unnoticed,

unread,

like words written on the shore, 

washed away 

and gone forever

in the high tide.

but write i must, 

i think to myself,

and i begin to write 

a postmodern poem,

writing of my own writing. 

in an era where any poem 

could as well be just cooked up 

in miliseconds

with some tech-savvy tool,

i type along in a new notepad file

on my laptop,

letter by letter,

like some caveman from a different era.

but it bothers me not.

for i write of Thee

and hopefully for Thee.

You know the meanings of my poems.

You are my audience. my everything. 

but hush - all i can think of now 

is how transient life is.

Jesus, every passing moment, 

even this very now,

ushers me 

towards my death on earth. 

although i am reluctant 

and defiant 

and although i do not want to face that end,

i am carried forwards to that end.

but buried under all these words

and hidden under all of my anxieties,

my fears, 

and the unknowns, 

yes, hidden under the frightening reality of 

the death of my body

is a beautiful reality that will never die,

a reality that has never changed, 

and will never change,

a river of crystal clear water

that will never peter out

but will always quench the thirst

of this my bleeding

hurting

thirsting

soul:

the love of Jesus Christ

you see my every moment

bringing me closer to you.

you see my fear of death

and tell me to look at you.

you see my never-still,

always fretting mind,

and tell me, 

be still, my child, 

for I am here.

you are Mine 

and I am yours, 

what else could you ever want.

I love you

with a love that is always alive and burning, 

a love that is real and always certain.

what else would you need, My child. 

what do you search for

when you have all you want and need.

why do you search at all

when you have

Me