You were there all along

You were there all along,

Silently in the background,

Pulling all the strings,

Helping me in every way conceivable.

You were there, orchestrating every good thing in my life.

You brought me to this new country, 

Far from where I was born, 

Gave me shelter, clothing, friends, employment.

You planned every step of the way,

With a serious and meticulous love.

You were there all along,

Designing my happiness, my peace, my comfort.

You loved me first, with a serious love.

I was everything to you, 

And you should have been everything to me. 

Our silent friendship could have been perfect, 

A blessèd slice of heaven,

If I had not repeatedly placed you second.

The worst times of my life were when

I prayed that ugly, loveless prayer:

"God, you do not have to be the first in my life, 

There are other things more important. 

Work. Money. Secure employment."

O do not lie to yourself 

That this is peace and joy and beauty.

Our friendship could have been perfect, 

If I had not spurned your infinite love,

Again and again

And again and again.

I have seen pictures of you,

I have spoken your name. 

I have written you letters, 

Written you poems.

But I have never seen you

In all your glory and beauty.

I have never seen you as

I see my family and friends.

I have never shaken your hand,

Asked you, "How are you?"

And sat there chatting with you, 

Doing nothing and enjoying your conversation. 

At least I have never done so

As I do with my loved ones. 

But then you remind me of yourself

In the Holy Eucharist,

And I believe you are there.

Yes, there is hope.

Beyond the glistening green leaves

Of the trees that line the side

Of the tarred traffic'd road,

Against the majestic backdrop

Of the ocean-blue skies

Spread across the heavens,

Serene white birds fly V-shaped into the heights.

A breath of fresh air, a breath of hope.

You will always be there for me.

You were there all along, 

Humbly in the background.

Who is the wonderful majestic man

In the background of my life,

Watching over everything, 

My heart asks, bleeding.

O that I could see him

And shake his hand

And talk to him about 

The most random things

For ever and ever.

You were there all along,

Lord Jesus Christ,

Would that I could see you

And chat to you

And hang out with you

For ever and ever

And ever and ever

And